Full disclosure: I have stepped on this landmine more than once.
And it always ruins my day.
I'm a pretty mellow guy. I don't get too fired up about politics, hot button issues, and all that stuff. I tend to believe that the most important thing for people to come to agree with me on is Jesus Christ and Him crucified. We can work out the rest of the details later on.
But now and then, I will allow something to upset me. I'll get passionate about a somewhat controversial topic. I will find that many people disagree with me, and I know that they are way wrong or misinformed.
And I post a Facebook status about it.
Cue dramatic music.
The worst thing you can do on Facebook is stir up controversy over touchy subjects. Please hear me when I say this: I'm sure these topics are important. They may be consuming a large portion of your personal life. It may be all you are thinking about. You may be absolutely sure that you are right.
Please leave it off of Facebook.
Facebook is really good for a lot of things. It is not good for controversy. Here are some reasons why:
1. It is almost impossible to convey a tone of voice or demeanor over Facebook. I tend to make a lot of snarky comments and I love me some good old fashioned sarcasm. When dealing with hot button issues, sarcasm does not translate on Facebook. People who are passionate on one side of an issue or the other often will totally miss the joke and go straight for why you are an inconsiderate sinner who is ruining the world with your presence and your opinions. It doesn't matter how many smiley faces you put after your comments or how thick you lay it on.
2. Many of the people on Facebook don't really know you. People who really know your heart will likely be able to read the intent behind what you are saying and even if they disagree with you, they will respect you and your opinion. But Facebook is full of people you haven't seen in ten years or had a real conversation with, like, ever. You can't assume people will know where you are coming from.
3. It creates a stumbling block for people. I have been unfriended for comments I have made on issues that are not nearly as important to me as making sure someone knows just how much God loves them. Now, they see nothing positive that I post, and only remember that I'm a Christian and they hate my ideas and opinions. I've wiped out any chance of communicating anything good to them.
Many of these are conversations that need to be had. They are topics that need to be discussed. Just not on Facebook.
Have you ever stepped on that landmine? Was it a topic you didn't realize would be so controversial, or did you know what you were getting in to?
Think before you post, and ask this question each time: Will this help me accomplish the larger goal of making the name of Jesus famous?
What I am about to say is just basically thinking out loud. These are not conclusive thoughts.
ReplyDeleteYou say often that you strive to be the same person on facebook that you are off facebook. I strive to do the same.
You know me. I don't exactly stray from controversial topics in face-to-face conversation. So shouldn't those same types of conversations have a place in my virtual world?
First off, a disclaimer. I have recently stepped back to re-evaluate how I do these conversations. Secondly, I have recently unfriended some people who I have seen as intentionally destructive. In all honesty, I don't post things to provoke controversy. I post things to provoke conversation (though I may unintentionally go over the line). I don't like confrontation or discomfort. But I think there are people that thrive on those sorts of reactions. Those are the people I unfriend. I want my time on facebook and twitter to be fruitful. Essentially, I am attempting to make null your point that "many of the people on Facebook don't really know you."
What if they do? Hypothetically? Does that change your argument?
Again, I know I'm not doing this perfectly. But like I said as well, these are the things I talk about. I feel like I would be disingenuous if I did not post articles or other media that reflect my views on things such as war, the Trayvon Martin shooting, racism, etc.
It's almost as if we're brothers. Wait for tomorrow and I answer that question. But the short answer is no, it doesn't change my argument at all.
DeleteI have to respectfully disagree with you on this,Dan. I feel that communication with the aid of social media should include topics that may be controversial. Some of the same topics discussed in an open forum could very well end in violence. On Face Book they are more likely to end with both parties going to bed for the night. My opinions and certainties have been reversed many times by articulate and intelligent debate. To read, assimilate, and discus another view-point of any subject matter often leads to personal growth and enlightenment. At worst...the opposing party retains their beliefs...and assumes they are just more well informed and intelligent than their foe, in the subject being debated. At best...both parties find some common ground to agree upon...and begin to understand fractions of the others opinions. The real trick is...staying away from the sarcasm, condescension, and cruel rebuttal that denigrates those with opposing views in the discussion. Still ends with both verbal combatants retiring to their respective sleeping chambers...but neither the better for their efforts. Communication is a catalyst for change...only choosing to discus that which is already agreed upon changes nothing.“Many times in life I've regretted the things I've said without thinking. But I've never regretted the things I said... nearly as much as the words I left unspoken.”
ReplyDeleteThat's a fair view. In my experience though, it is much better to talk about hard things in person with others rather than dangle the carrot of a controversial topic in front of all of Facebook to wait and see who will take the bait. Often, they aren't ready for as fair a discussion as the one you're hoping to have. Ya, it often CAN end well. But the likelihood is much less. I'm glad to hear that you have had a better experience with it than I have. And I totally agree that communication is catalyst for change. I'm not arguing against that. I'm just saying that hard topics, potentially volatile topics, are best discussed in person.
DeleteTo defend Scott here, I think what you mean is that "hard topics, potentially volatile topics, SHOULD ONLY BE discussed in person."
DeleteAnd the mere fact that we are discussing a potentially volatile (I suppose that's up for debate) topic on social media at this very second is quite ironic to me :)
DeleteBut to your defense, we talked about it on the phone last night.
Dang you and your follow-through.
I'm definitely not saying "only" in person. That's impossible. But I also think there's a difference between posting something to promote discussion, and posting something to get a reaction out of people. There's a lot about the intention of the heart that goes into that. And it's easier to see the heart in person than online.
DeleteI think this is a great conversation to have. You knew me in college, when I was a bit more (ok a lot more) outspoken... now a days, I find that life is much happier and I like people more when I don't know where they stand on particular issues. I think Scott and Kyle bring up great points though... at what point does standing up for what we believe trump the desire for Facebook peace & tranquility? But in the end, I agree with you - Facebook is not the best place for those conversations to occur because of the rate of misinterpretation. If fair and open-minded conversations were happening on Facebook, that'd be great, but I don't see those very often. When I do post things that might be controversial, I tend to block people I suspect will be offended from even seeing those posts! Anyway, nothing profound to add, just chiming in my support for your stance.
ReplyDeleteThanks Erin for your thoughts! You make my point exactly: I don't see open-minded and fair conversations on Facebook very often. And I promise, tomorrow I talk more about when standing up for what you believe trumps tranquility.
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