Follow Friday: Joel Osteen

I swear to you, if I ever become the pastor of a mega church, I will get a giant spinny golden earth to stand in front of.

Love him or hate him, Joel Osteen is one of the most influential pastors in the United States. Located in the former Compaq Center in Houston, Texas, Lakewood Church is the largest congregation in the United States with over 43,000 in attendance every weekend. And that doesn't count the people in over 100 countries around the world who watch him preach on TV, read his books, and follow him on Twitter or Facebook.

I had a chance to sit down with the good reverend for a completely fake and in no way real interview.

Me: Hi Joel, thanks for agreeing to do this interview.

Joel: It's my pleasure. I want to help your blog become everything God intended for it to be.

Me: That's very kind. Do you think it has potential?

Joel: UNLIMITED potential! Have you prayed for more followers? More readers?

Me: Not really. I mean, I just want to do my best, and if people like it, great. If not, it must not be meant to be and I'll just do something else.

Joel: Dan, my son, if you don't ask God for the followers, you'll never get them. God is just waiting to pour out a blessing of readers upon you that you cannot even fathom.

Me: Well, my goal isn't necessarily to have the most followed blog. It's just to do my best and give people a chance to discuss this stuff and hopefully learn something along the way.

Joel: Your lack of faith is troubling.

Me: I don't lack faith. At least, I don't think so. I think my blog is worth reading or else I wouldn't write it.

Joel: So it's worth reading, you just don't want people to read it?

Me: Yes..no. Wait. Of course I want people to read it.

Joel: So it's worth reading, and you want people to read it, you just want to do it on your own without God's help?

Me: I totally want God's help. Without God I'm nothing. I'm just not praying for the biggest blog ever just for the sake of having a big blog.

Joel: Dan, if you stop trying to do this yourself and just give it to God, just pray for it, and squint your eyes like me, God doesn't just bless you with a few readers. He doesn't bless you with a couple dozen readers. There will be multitudes flocking to your blog! You just have to ask and believe that it can be done! If you are saying you don't want a big blog, then that means you don't want God involved.

Me: I'm not sure your theology is completely accurate.

Joel: It's worked for me. Look at Lakewood. It's the biggest church in America. I asked for it, and God blessed me with it.

Me: Why haven't other pastors asked God to have the biggest church in America?

Joel: They have. They just haven't believed in it like me.

Me: OK. Starting today, I'm going to pray God gives me the biggest church in America. Your church. And I'm going to believe it way more than you.

Joel: No fair! I'm going to believe it the mostest!

Me: We're getting off track here. Look, the truth is, you inspire a lot of people in the name of Christ, and I think that's a great thing.

Joel: Thanks. It's a huge blessing to get to do what I do.

Me: And I know a lot of people criticize you for the size of your home and the expensive suits and all that stuff. But I just think that people focus on that stuff because they have a hard time accepting the success you have. You really have helped a lot of people.

Joel: It's true. Thank you....my private jet does rock though.

Me: Totally. I'd love to take a ride sometime.

Joel: If you truly believe it, it could happen.