Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Glass Houses

One of the unique things about being a pastor is that there are some people who are rooting for you to fail. Some people have been hurt by religion, religious people, or ideologies. Whenever there is a public moral failing in a church, they flood the airways, commentaries, and message boards with words of condemnation. They shout about our hypocrisy. They mock our supposed morality. They jeer at a supposed loving and all-powerful god who allows these people to represent Him.

Unfortunately, too often, they're right. Instead of turning people back to Jesus and His church, we're creating more de-churched people. I find myself constantly cringing at the religious leaders and pastors who stumble their way onto TV as a real-life straw man to be knocked over for the entertainment of the disillusioned masses. I mourn that clergy sex abuse allegations have become commonplace front page stories. I wish the bad ones among us would either quit and find a different job or at least keep their mouths shut.

I'm looking at you, Westboro.

The worst part is, none of us in my chosen profession are immune to becoming the next headline. We all have the capacity to do something tragic. You can bust your tail for decades doing the good work of the church, and in one fell swoop, destroy it all. You can have your whole life and ministry ahead of you, put yourself in a bad place, and ruin your future. And for many, there's nothing that pleases them more than when that happens.

We live in glass houses surrounded by stones many are itching to throw.

I can't pretend to have any answers to the problem, because I can't count myself as immune. Maybe it's when you think you're immune that you become most vulnerable. I have seen too many friends and colleagues drop out of ministry, accused of wrongdoing, broken, damaged, embarrassed, and destroyed.

No one is going to start taking it easy on us. We have to figure this out.

All I know is what has worked for me. This is what has sustained me thus far.

1) Stay in communion with God. Pray, always. Read your Bible. Worship. When I get away from these things, I find myself getting vulnerable.

2) Surround yourself with good people. Never be the top of the totem pole. You need mentors. Have people watching over you. Make others responsible for keeping you accountable.

3) Rest. The greatest disease facing clergy is workaholism. Stop it. The more worn out and stressed you are, the greater your capacity to make a terrible decision.

4) Remember the devil plays chess. He is always thinking two and three steps ahead on how to get you. When we fail to realize this, that's when we wind up in terrible places, not sure how we got there. Block his moves before they have the chance to get dangerous.

5) If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. Failings many times don't start as something major, but they become major when we try to cover them up. You're human, you messed up. Deal with it.

6) Watch out for one another. It's pretty easy to feel like you're on an island fighting this battle yourself. You aren't. We need one another. Call your pastor friend and ask how they are doing. Get together for coffee. Refresh each other.

We live in glass houses. And it's hard. But Jesus gave you the keys to that house for a reason. He doesn't expect people to always look in and see perfection, but he does hope that they see faithfulness, grace, and love.