So today, I want to fake interview one of the most prolific and influential women in all of Christendom - my mom.
She's the one on the right.
The good Reverend Erma Metzger is the pastor of Vanlue Christ UMC and the mother of this blogger. No one I know has the fierce combination of insightful exegesis and melt in your mouth chocolate chip cookies. It's a wicked 1-2 punch.
You can find Ermbabe on Facebook, but I haven't yet convinced her to get on Twitter. C'mon Erma.
So I sat down with the reverend mother for a completely fake and in no way real interview.
Me: Hi mommy.
Erma: Oh crap, are you really pulling me into one of these?
Me: Absolutely. It's my mother's day present to you.
Erma: I wanted flowers.
Me: Already sent them. They were half "I love you" and half "I'm sorry."
Erma: Alright, so what are we talking about today?
Me: A couple of things. First, what's your take on social media stuff?
Erma: I like it. I use Facebook quite a bit. It's a great way to stay in touch with others and share about what's going on in your own family.
Me: Yeah...about that. I've noticed lots of pictures of Jake recently, and not so many of me. I'm beginning to think he's your favorite.
Erma: Oh, he definitely is. Not even close.
Me: Wow. That's brutally honest.
Erma: It's how I roll, yo.
Me: So you are in a small, rural church. Can you still use social media in your ministry?
Erma: Absolutely. We have a church Facebook page, and I reach out to people on Facebook all the time. Sometimes I find out they're in the hospital or going through a rough time when I'm checking Facebook. It helps me to be a better pastor. We also have an interactive church website that allows people to share with one another. It's pretty widely utilized!
Me: Very cool! I assume most of this knowledge you've garnered about social media has come from someone else. Someone close to you who inspires you. I mean, they may even be younger than you, but you look to them for wisdom and guidance.
Erma: Yes, honey. Your brother Kyle has been a big help. Thanks for leading me to mention him.
Me: Not at all what I was going for. Let me be more specific. What's it like to be the mother of me? I'm becoming a successful pastor and I'm pretty influential now among some circles in my use of social media. I'll just come out and say it: I'm kind of a big deal. How awesome is it to be my mom?
Erma: Eh. It's alright.
Me: Just alright?!
Erma: Look, your father and I will always love you. But blogging? Really? Isn't that kind of "5 years ago?" And you're not even a senior pastor yet. You're almost 30.
Me: ... but...it's just the system I'm in. The program was a 3 year program. I couldn't help that it took this long! I'm getting ordained next month!
Erma: I'll believe it when I see it.
Me: Wow...this has been eye opening.
Erma: Dan, I love you. And you'll always have a special place in my heart. It's just a much smaller place than the ones I have for your brothers.
Me: Do you at least like me more than your dog?
Erma: No. I mean, before you made me do this interview, maybe it was a tie. But now...no.
Me: Can I have the flowers back that I sent you?
Erma: Sorry. I already threw them out. I needed box to send a care package to Jake at college.
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