Haters Gonna Hate

This meme started a while back. The first instance of the phrase I could find was in 2000 from a 3LW song called "Playas Gon' Play." I'm sure that's in your iPod.

Since then, and with the addition of the above drawing in 2003, the phrase has taken on a life of it's own.

Haters gonna hate.

For those of you not as well versed in the hip-hop vernacular as I am, let me break it down for you. A "hater" is someone who simply cannot be happy for the success of another. They are likely jealous. And the phrase "haters gonna hate" refers to the attitude those who are successful must have, in spite of those who are against them. Frequently, musicians, celebrities, and athletes will use this phrase to describe their demeanor towards the anti-fans who ridicule them.

But then something unfortunate happened.

Everyone started thinking that as soon as someone criticized them, the critic must be a "hater."

How dare they question me! They're just jealous. I don't need them telling me how to live my life. I'm right, they're wrong. I'm going to be me. I don't need to change for anyone. I'm good the way I am. Better than them, at least. I don't need their advice, criticism, or critique.

They're just haters.

Really? Are they?

The "haters gonna hate" attitude is going to kill us, people.

Look, I'll be the first to admit I have an ego. I'm proud of who I am and what I can accomplish. And frankly, I don't always welcome criticism.

But I sure need it. I need people around me who are willing to get in my face when I mess up. I need people who care enough about me to confront me when I need to change. I cannot and will not be successful without the counsel of people I know and trust.

Too often I have failed to take critique from people who really care about me and my success in all areas of life: work, family, relationships, spiritual life, etc. I have believed myself to be wiser than I am.

I'm getting better at it. In fact, I have found the value of asking others to tell me the things that are hard to hear. I have given permission to those I trust and whose opinions I value to speak difficult truth into my life.

Confession: it still stings. But at least I know now that they aren't "haters." In fact, they love me. They value me enough to try to build me into the person God created me to be.

Maybe you feel like you're surrounded by haters. Maybe you feel like everyone is against you.

Or maybe they really love you and are trying to break through your massive ego to help you become who God created you to be.